Sometimes, do the circumstances of life make you wonder: Is God really in control? Perhaps doctrinally you know better, but do your thoughts and actions tell differently? Do you wonder sometimes: If God is good, and if “for those who love God all things work together for good” (Rom. 8:28), then do bad things mean that God has lost control? Is he merely a spectator, watching as events unfold? Or, does he wait to respond or react as necessary?
Belief is not circumstantial but is a gift of God’s grace and must be received as such. You cannot will it to be, and it will never be on your terms. Try harder and do better, exhaust your efforts on the treadmill of works, if you please, but the gift of grace is just that, a gift so that no one may boast.